Monday, May 02, 2005

L.A. Man Needs Woman To Celebrate Air Supply Anniversary

LOS ANGELES (Wireless Flash) – If you’re a smart, funny woman who is free on May 12, a man in Los Angeles wants to take you out on a date. As long as you like the 1980s soft rock group Air Supply.

May 12 marks the 30th anniversary that Air Supply members Russell Hitchcock and Graham Russell started a partnership that created hits like “Lost In Love,” “All Out Of Love” and “Every Woman In The World.”

One person particularly touched by the band is an Australian journalist named Luke Ford, who says Air Supply songs articulate what he “feels about love but rarely experiences.”

He wants to honor the band’s anniversary by taking a woman out to a vegan restaurant and a walk along the beach while engaging in “meaningful conversation with no distancing devices.”

Ford hopes the experience revives his romantic side, which he says has been dormant ever since a woman reprehended him for sending flowers too soon in a relationship.

Ford hopes the woman is attractive but says “more than 15 lbs. overweight is not a problem.”

Khunrum writes: "Good going Luke. I boinked several fatties before switching to Asian women. They usually have low self esteem and therefore are easier to get horizontal. Just thing of the deep footprints she'll leave in the sand during your romantic walk along the beach. Why not do this again on the university of Aussie puke rockers. The LRB...When Little River Band formed in 1975, Australia immediately took notice."

Lionel Hutz writes on Velvet Rope: "Reprehended? What does that mean?"

JMassif writes: "It's the reprehensible reprimand... the lowest and meanest kind... like when you put the wrong woman's name on a bouquet of spring wildflowers."

Dannya writes: "Wow. And I thought my life was meaningless and pathetic."

JMassif writes: "Just because he's a vegan Air Supply fan looking for love on a message board about Air... .... oh... yeah, damn he IS a loser ..."

Luke replies: "I am not a loser. I am a highly respected journalist."

Corey3D writes: "This is pathetic. This guy is using any excuse to whore up his career and try to get his hands in a vegan gal's pants."

Play it loud!

I can make the run or stumble,
I can make the final block;
And I can make every tackle, at the sound of the whistle,
I can make all the stadiums rock.
I can make tonight forever,
Or I can make it disappear by the dawn;
And I can make you every promise that has ever been made,
And I can make all your demons be gone.

But I’m never gonna make it without you,
Do you really want to see me crawl?
And I’m never gonna make it like you do,
Making love out of nothing at all

The Void Inside

I have this big emptiness inside that I am always trying to fill by blogging about myself, self-publishing books about myself, Googleing my name every week, checking Technorati daily for any reference to me, checking my email every five minutes, posting on chat boards to get a reaction...

I just realized how empty my life by emailing somebody who I expected had SpamBlock. And I found myself thinking, "Good, I know I will get a reply, because I will get that automatic reply from a spam blocker."

One of the things I hate about pitching an article is that half the times I do it, I get no reply. And when I do get a reply, it tends to come after a week or so. I so hate rejection (because my sense of my own worth is so fragile), that I rarely pitch editors with stories and I rarely ask out women I'm interested in (if I think they are too beautiful or too good for me).