Monday, May 02, 2005

The Void Inside

I have this big emptiness inside that I am always trying to fill by blogging about myself, self-publishing books about myself, Googleing my name every week, checking Technorati daily for any reference to me, checking my email every five minutes, posting on chat boards to get a reaction...

I just realized how empty my life by emailing somebody who I expected had SpamBlock. And I found myself thinking, "Good, I know I will get a reply, because I will get that automatic reply from a spam blocker."

One of the things I hate about pitching an article is that half the times I do it, I get no reply. And when I do get a reply, it tends to come after a week or so. I so hate rejection (because my sense of my own worth is so fragile), that I rarely pitch editors with stories and I rarely ask out women I'm interested in (if I think they are too beautiful or too good for me).

2 Comments:

Blogger David N. Scott said...

Man, this blog's really depressing. At least you talk about your feelings, though. Lukeford.net leaves you pretty mysterious...

11:45 PM  
Blogger Jedi Knight said...

If you haven't noticed, you're putting yourself in a weak position here. It's good to know your own limitations but never and I mean NEVER tell the whole world about them!!!
Just try to relax man, live a little... go for the kind of woman you want and stop whining. Life has many chances in store, but you have to be at the right place in the right time, not hiding yourself in a blog.

1:00 AM  

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